What
do you actually mean by inappropriate behaviour?
Kids
improper approach or a behaviour that is difficult to handle, which includes a lot of negativism and lets you down is inappropriate behaviour.
To
reduce this kind of behaviour the first & the most important thing as a
parent should do is ‘BE PATIENT.’ Kids are like mirror, they have nothing to
display all by themselves. They only reflect what they see, be it good or bad.
So
if we are impatient or our mind boggles seeing new situations how can we expect
them to reflect an appropriate behaviour under various circumstances. Kids are
like CLAY, they will take their shape, the way you mold them. For clay, it is
always the earlier the better but never too late.
7
fundas to reduce inappropriate behaviour in kids are:
1. Understand the circumstance:
There is always a reason behind each
action. The reason could be intense or a silly one. It could be testing their
power or control or could even be revenge. Could be a result of feeling of
failure or could be just to seek attention.
Whatever may be the reason your role as
a parent during that circumstance is to support them patiently. Later on you
can explain them ways to handle that particular situation in an appropriate
manner but during that frame of time you have to be patient and supportive.
2. Be Democratic:
Living in a democratic country like
India, we understand the importance of democracy. Why not extend the same to
our kids? Why become a dictator?
Give them options/choices so that they
can choose what is best for them at that moment of time.
Simplest example could be the study
time. Let them decide when to study, how much to study and what to study?
By this I don’t mean to lose control over them, you can just tell them what is
expected to be covered in a day, it is upto them when and how they complete the
task.
The outcome of being democratic is
usually favorable and the child becomes more responsible towards his work.
Which is a positive sign of development, isn’t it?
3. Do the opposite of what is expected:
By time children often anticipate their
parent’s response to their various behaviours. Why not we as a parent try to do
something opposite of what is expected. This type of reaction will surprise the
kids and they will get confused. If this kind of your behaviour continues quite
often they will not be able to predict how you will react.
4. Avoid power struggles, don’t be bossy:
In power struggles the person tries to show off its power, could
be you or your child. According to me these battles are winnerless battles,
there are no winners, only losers.
You might try to scold and scream at your child and control
the situation at that moment but the chances of re-occurrence is very high.
Relationships usually ends when one among us try to become bossy (be it
parent or child).
Being a parent it is advisable to take initiative to express
a strong desire and interest to have a healthy relationship between the two.
Take a lead and set an example. Remember kids are like molding clay. Be patient
and develop a good communication between the two.
5. Search positivism:
Each child is gifted by a unique quality. It is our
responsibility to work hard to search for the same and get it to notice.
Children usually display negativism because they lack belief in their ability.
You just need to get those abilities in limelight.
Because of more positive attention received from parents,
children gradually tend to leave negativism from their mind.
6. Develop a sense of
belongings:
Children are too young to develop the sense of belonging, if
not expressed. So it is very important to develop it in them. It could be by
hugging or kissing them. Praising for the little efforts put in by them for
family’s happiness. Allowing them to take small decisions and everyone should
follow them.
By developing sense of belonging we can reduce their
inappropriate behavior.
7. Don’t tell the world:
Too much discussion about your child’s behaviour with the
world is not good, be it positive or negative.’ The World’ is not bothered
about your child; they are only bothered about gossips.
On the other hand discussing to much about your child’s
negativism might lead him/her to be demoralized, a victim of failure,
mistreated by others and what not.
If you really want to take an opinion from others then you
can discuss it with your well wisher but without getting to child’s notice.
I hope the above fundas would benefit you in getting a
solution to reduce inappropriate behaviour of kids. They may be time consuming
but very effective. Remember the golden word, ’PATIENCE’, this word works
wonders.
As I mention it every time it is a platform to share your
experience, do share your way of handling inappropriate behaviour of your
child.
Waiting for more FUNDAS.
